Thought of the Day

From now on I'm just going to call coffee "proof of God." "You want some proof of God? I just brewed some." "Do you take sugar in your proof of God?" Etc. After all, coffee is the grounds of bean.

Thought of the Day

Plants are nature's way of turning dirt into vegans.

Thought of the Day

The difference between a) patriotism and b) nationalism is about the same as the difference between a) loving your parents and b) helping them bury the bodies.

Thought of the Day

Satan is a morning person.

Thought of the Day

The first moment after God banged the universe into existence was the first moment God existed. Not because God began to exist, but because moments began to exist.

Thought of the Day

"God watches over drunks and little children." So play it safe: get your children drunk.

Thought of the Day

"Agnostic" is the Greek-based word for someone with "no knowledge". The Latin-based word is "ignoramus".

Thought of the Day

I told my father that Nietzsche said God is dead. My father laughed, then said, "I don't think Nietzsche's going to win that particular fight."

Thought of the Day

Jesus baptized death.

Thought of the Day

Some people defend mentioning God on our currency and in the pledge of allegiance because they are merely historical references to our country's Christian foundation, and not an endorsement of a religious position. I'm not so sure. I would rather have such things banned because they mean something than allowed because they don't.

Thought of the Day

In ancient Greece, Diogenes would urinate in public in order to prove that human beings are merely animals. But animals don't urinate in public in order to make a point.

Thought of the Day

Fight Club in five words:
"Life is pain. Pursue life."
(Also: "Fight Club in five words.")

Thought of the Day

You are what you eat. Take Communion.

Thought of the Day

In my experience over 90% of the arguments and criticisms made against Christianity can be answered with, "Yeah, I don't believe in a God like that either."

Thought of the Day

I've never understood the expression "the exception that proves the rule." Exceptions disprove rules.

Thought of the Day

A cape is just a bib that was put on backwards. And vice-versa.

Thought of the Day

Babies are socialists.
Toddlers are libertarians.

Thought of the Day

If person A has a moral obligation to help person B, it does not mean that B has a moral right to A's help. If I have a moral obligation to give money to someone, that person doesn't have a moral right to take my money, whether I offer it to them or not.

Thought of the Day

Three things about heaven:
The popcorn will taste as good as it smells.
The coffee will taste as good as it smells.
The pizza will taste as good as it always has.

Thought of the Day

Religion is a crutch. And we're a race of paraplegics.